my co-workers are a constant source of encouragement...

I love hymns

because they are full of stuff like this.

For every poor mourner, who thirsts for the Lord,
A fountain is opened, in Jesus the Word;
Their poor parched conscience, to cool and to wash,
From guilt and pollution, from dead works and dross.

A robe is provided, their shame now to hide,
In which none are clothed, but Jesus is bride;
Though it be costly, yet is the robe free,
And all Zion’s mourners, shall decked with it be.

-from The Gospel Brings Tidings by William Gadsby
-brought to my attention by Red Mountain Music -listen -buy cd


One of my favorite things about going to Alabama last week was going back to Red Mountain. The music is no small part of why I loved that place so much. Thanks so much to all the folks who lovingly work on it.

it's different here...

I'm glad to have gotten to spend Thanksgiving in Alabama. It's been wonderful to see so many of the people that I've missed so much since I left. I also couldn't be more excited to almost be on my way back to Philadelphia to see the new people Ive been missing.

aftermath...

This is what I expect the tables at our houses in heaven will look like after we welcome home old friends.

Thanks to the Smith's for the warm welcome, and being the hardest people in Birmingham to say goodbye to. I've missed you guys.

tagged...

So I was tagged by Susan.  Due to said tag I am writing 6 or so random things about myself.  While I'm glad to respond to the tag, I don't feel the need to tag anyone else specifically.  But if any of the 2 or 3 people that read this would like to write random stuff about themselves in return go for it.

I've developed an odd affinity for pumpkins this season.  I don't ever remember liking pumpkin pie, but I liked it this year.  I've also drank a ton of pumpkin beer.  DogfishHead Punkin' is the best by far.  I even made, well sort of made, pumpkin bread this week... kind of weird.

I'm learning that I'm a much bigger nerd than I ever thought.  My boss was giving away a book of fractals, and I was excited to get it.  I like all the math in it, but don't understand a lick of it.  I also was abnormally excited to find out that z-depth information can be contained and manipulated in RLA files exported from 3D programs when imported into 2D compositing applications.  

I am really terrible at bowling.  I wish I were better, but I am not.

I have an irrational fear of getting my fingers chopped off after falling down during the act of ice skating.... which I've never done.

The fact that the Market - Frankford line is both a subway and an el blows my mind.  I mean I get it... but still.

I constantly replay conversations and events in my head.  I think of things I should have said, or said differently.  I wonder how that would have changed the outcomes of conversations.  I think that I do it so I'll be better prepared next time.  I never am though.  Every time I walk away and my head is flooded by more clever comments,  better explanations for myself or the perfect parting words that I typically am left to say to myself.

broken iPhone...

So... my iPhone broke. It actually kinda got soaked by the most rain I've ever seen in my life... while it was in my pocket... as Haley and I were also being soaked by said rain. I'm no meteorologist, but I would say at least 8 to 12 inches of rain fell in the amount of time it took us to walk the last 5 to 6 blocks to my apartment. We looked like we'd been swimming in our clothes. Ridiculous. Anyway... the phone would turn on, but there was about a third of the touchscreen that no longer worked. I got up this morning and decided I'd drive to King of Prussia (yes that is an actual place) to the Apple store and see what, if anything I could do. I get there, make my maintenance appointment, then get to walk around for about two and a half hours waiting on my Genius to become available. In that time I got attacked by a toy helicopter, had my hands exfoliated with salt from the dead sea, found a bathroom to wash dead sea from my hands, and determined that Vampires are definitely in this season.

After all that was done I met Wallie*, my Genius.
"Whats the problem with your phone?"
"The touchscreen isn't working in these areas."
"Oh that has to do with the thermal layers. Let me run the info and if its under warranty we'll get you a new one and you'll be on your way."
"Oh great."
I knew it wasn't under warranty, but I'd let him run it just in case. Then something amazing happens. Wallie goes to the back and gets a small white box... from a gigantic lego-castle-ish stack of small white boxes and pulls from it a shiny new non 3G iPhone. After typing in some stuff on his computer he comes over and says,
"Its not under warranty, but I ran the serial and your phone is known to be prone to this type of issue. We're going to replace the phone at no cost to you."
"Oh great." and in my head I think... "my phone is prone to getting soaked by an afternoon torrential downpour. cool."

Hooray Apple! Hooray Wallie! And hooray for not asking any questions about when I first started noticing this problem!

Check out other pics from this guy.

*not his real name... I remember his real name, but though it might be better to not use it.

my neighborhood...

Took this a little while back while walking home. Its a couple blocks away. There's a lot of speculation about the meaning of shoes tangled in wires. I think it means at some point in time someone threw some shoes up in the wires to see if they could get them caught. I had shoes tangled in the wires at my place in Montevallo too. Probably meant the same there.

what I've learned about Philly...

I've decided that Philly is a town that's just waiting for something to honk its horn at.

would this be too offensive...

So the Phillies are in the World Series.  In all likelyhood the Rays will be in.  This got me thinking.  My buddy Allen lives in Tampa, I live in Philly... we need to finally work together on something.  

We're brainstorming.  Here's the direction that I'm leaning.  I find it amazingly interesting that people are talking about how the Rays rise from being the worst team in baseball last year, to the best this year... has something to do with it being the same year that they had a PR make over, changing their name from the Tampa Bay Devil Rays to now simply the Rays.  People have, perhaps only jokingly, said that now the Lord is on their side.  Allen says people in Tampa actually talk about that a good bit.

I think it'd be pretty amazing to sell World Series Indulgences at bars.  You know like the Catholics used to do so families could buy their dead relatives out of purgatory.  I want to get a Rosary Box or some kind of old looking box and decorate it with a blend of religious iconography and baseball memorabilia, make a paper pad of indulgences and let people purchase them.  I'd like to make a couple of these little altars and install them in a couple neighborhood bars.  I'd like to let people write prayers and drop in the box as well.  It'd be cool to take some photos to document it too.  Would that be too offensive, or just the right amount of blasphemy?

i'm old now...

ridiculous...

Minilogue - Animals from ljudbilden on Vimeo.


see more of this dudes stuff here

RSS feed of the Beast

hipsters...

Interesting article about hipsters, and the end of the Western Civilization.

A tidbit, "We are a lost generation, desperately clinging to anything that feels real, but too afraid to become it ourselves. We are a defeated generation, resigned to the hypocrisy of those before us, who once sang songs of rebellion and now sell them back to us."

Read the full Adbusters Hipster Article

and yeah I know... two in one day.

a short one...

I think John Dorian said once, "If my heat wrote songs they would sound like this."  I feel pretty much the same way about David Bazan.  His songs are playing on repeat in my head at most any given time.  Here's the one that's dominated the rotation lately.

Epiphany

It occurred to me tonight that Doogie Houser M.D. was the world's first blogger.

Eat it blog world. No matter how hard you try to catch up... you're (we're) just chasing the 80's.

a month in...

Well I've been here in Philly for a month. Things have gone so much better than I thought they would. I'm not sure thats saying a whole lot... as the move approached I found myself being more and more of a pessimist, even in the midst of all sorts of provisions that should have reassured me that things would be just fine. Maybe all those provisions are a post for another time... or better yet if anyone is wondering about them let me know and I'll email or call you.

It's starting to sink in that I actually live here now. I got my first parking ticket the first weekend I was here... an appropriate welcome. Went to a Phillies game. I'm learning to enjoy hockey... I'm already rockin the playoff beard so I at least look like a local. I've been going to work for three weeks. Getting up each morning, heading out the door to wait on the bus. It actually feels a little like Im in elementary school again. I have my token... which reminds me of milk money... I wait for the crossing guard to wave me across the street (there's actually a middle school right where I wait on the bus... and an elementary school down the way)... then I get on the bus, usually to stand awkwardly with my butt or crotch (depending on if I like them... Montevallo caf goers should remember that game) all up in someone's grill. Sometimes on a good day I get a seat, and someone else's butt or crotch in my grill. I actually saw a girl on a bike get hit by a car whilst waiting for the bus. The crossing guard had just taken a break because she was tired or something. Good thing no one was hurt, she'd be on permanent break then.

I always enjoy the walk from wherever the bus drops me off to work. The first few weeks I got off at a different street every day because I didn't quite get how the request stop stuff worked, and I got confused as to which street I was supposed to get off on. Sometimes I get off on the wrong one just so I can enjoy the fact that I work in Center City. Its pretty amazing to me. I used to watch movies and see characters walking down crowded city streets, in the shadows of huge buildings as they went to their jobs and fancied myself as such a character. Even though I always imagined that I'd take a shot at it eventually I always thought my chances were pretty slim. I remember walking to work my first day and telling myself, "Slow down and enjoy this.. you worked your ass off to get here so don't let it just pass." So I did slow down. I actually stopped and looked around a little. It was pretty surreal for me. And Im thankful to have the shot.

Since then though doubt again has crept in and I've been dominated by it. Work got tough real fast. I've started to doubt myself and have made a lot of stupid mistakes. But some days are good and I feel like I actually have done something worth looking at. Im looking forward to more of those days.

I should be moving into my apartment in the next couple of weeks. I posted some pics here. Its a big place and I don't have much stuff. All of my stuff actually fits into a 5 X 10 X 8 storage unit, and so I guess if I wanted to I could stack it all up in the corner of one room and have a skating party once I move in. Im looking forward to having an office / music room. I guess I should say that Im looking forward to having hobbies again and it will be nice to have a room in which to engage in those hobbies. In Birmingham all my free time either went to overcommitments or trying to making better work so I could get a better job. Now hopefully that I'll be doing better work as a job I can spend my free time on music / learning non work computer stuff and just hacking around in general.

Last night after dinner with the Twilleys and some of their friends I was being asked some kind of get to know you questions which I actually kind of enjoyed... mostly about my family and where they were. "All in Alabama," I said. Then I was asked if it was a big deal that I left. I've wondered about that. I suppose to me it is... or maybe it will be. I told my old boss in Birmingham that the one question that haunted me was "Could I cut it anywhere but here?" Its a big deal for me to find the answer to that. The strange thing is I really don't care what the answer is... either I can or I can't and I'm fine with either, its just the not knowing that drove me crazy. I'm far less scared of failure than of never having taken the chance.

Well as usual, I've rambled on incoherently... hope if anyone's been wanting me to blog enjoyed it.

Last Birmingham Blog

I should be leaving within the next hour or so. I've been told by several friends that I'd better blog more often so I figured I'd best go on and start.

I honestly haven't had the down time I'd liked to have had to sit down and write and process all thats been going on in my head with this move but to try to sum it all up, I basically go back and fourth thinking this is the best thing I'll ever do, and this is the worst mistake I've ever made. And that cycle happens about every 90 seconds or so. Right now the "worst mistake" side is tending to win... but I believe the closer I get to my new home the "best thing" side will gain its lost ground.

Its been hard saying goodbye to people. The community group was tough for me. So many people who I respect so much and have grown close to over the past few years, so many people who've known me for so long that it scares me to think of how old I'll be when I'll know folks in Philadelphia that long. The SouthTown guys were great at our goodbye... I'll miss them more than they'll realize. No more J. Clyde... that just sucks.

I really love it here... I've never said any different. Sometimes I wonder if I've let a bad job situation run me out of my home. But I don't give a lot of credit to that thought. Sometimes you just have to take a shot at something different. I've said several times that if I never go whatever work I do in Birmingham I'll resent it, because I'm comparing it to some ideal that I've concocted in my head. Maybe that ideal is real somewhere, but if I never look I guess I'll never know. The ground is hard in Birmingham for the work that I've found myself in, and its broken my back. Maybe there's softer, more manageable ground north of here.

Leaving is harder than I expected; much harder. I'll miss my friends and family here. So for all the friends I had to say goodbye to and those that I didn't get the chance to, I love you guys and look forward to seeing you all again soon.

Airport blogger** revised **

** whilst in the airport I originally posted this via my iPhone. I've gone back and added links as well as cleaned up some typos.


Well, I've been up since 3am. I've be been in ATL (which everyone knows how much I enjoy) for about 8 hrs due to all the rough weather in Philly. Normally I think I'd be pissed, but its been pretty fun actually. I met an awesome older guy, Joe Vitali. Probably in his 70s or 80s as best I could tell. We probably spent 3 or 4 hours chatting. I listened as he told me about growing up in Philly in an Italian neighborhood where his dad owned a grocery store.

"We were all Italian; the whole neighborhood. There was one Irishman though. And when the Americans started moving in my dad told me to go down to Acme Grocery and get some american bread for them to buy." He told me all about his kids, all 9 of them. His boy thats in the Marines. The other son thats a movie star... "He knows martial arts... Revenge of the Ninja is his (Keith Vitali) most famous. He's been in some with that Jakie what's his name too. And on Oprah talking about bullies. Just fished a book too. Its bound so beautifully, he talks about being on Oprah in there too."

He told me about his mom thats 108. And how she and his dad were married in '22 and how he died in '04. "88 years if my math is right."

And then he told me about his own wife of 58 years, and that she'd passed away just 2 weeks ago. Thats why I'm here you know. My five kids in Columbia are renovating my house. When I get back it'll be a new place. I think that'll help."

I hope it does, but I have my doubts. He teared up as he talked about her. The he handed me a piece of paper. "I don't even know why Im showing you this, my son wrote it." it was the eulogy that was read at his wires funeral,you could tell he was planning onkeeping it. It was beautifully written and I almost joined in Joe Vitali's tears.

"What a life, I tell ya! Boy I got a great family, I brag on 'em too much. You should see my granddaughter, she plays on one of those traveling soccer teams... what do you call 'em?? Well anyway, she doesn't just play in South Carolina, but in North Carolina, Tennessee, all over. I'm really gonna enjoy seeing her play."

It was amazing to meet Joe and it was his company that made this a good day.

"Hey sweetheart," Joe says to his sister over the cell phone I'd been helping him learn to use. "Oh nothing much just sitting here with my friend Jason Harmon. We've been passing the time together. He's visiting Philly. "

He smiled at me as he hung up.

News

So... I decided a few months ago to start applying for jobs all over the place to see what would happen. I applied for jobs in Atlanta, L.A., Santa Monica, Chicago and New York. I even applied for one in Kansas City. I got good responses from a good number of the companies; even felt about 90% sure that I'd be moving to Santa Monica. But that fell through. About a week after that I made up my mind; if I haven't gotten a job offer by the time my lease runs out, July 1st, I'm going to up and move somewhere.

I've always wanted to live in NYC so I figured I'd move that direction first and if nothing turned up, then I'd move west. Also since last summer when Gene and Laura moved to Philadelphia they've told me that if I ever want to move up that way, I could stay with them till I got on my feet. So I called Gene and talked about this idea I had of moving to New England and trying to find work in NYC. He and Laura graciously told me I could stay with them while I tried my hand in the New York market.

Well, a couple days after that I found two job postings for a motion design house in Philadelphia. I applied. Within 3o minutes of applying I got a response email. About a week after that email I had a phone interview. About 2 hours after that phone interview I had a plane ticket. So now in about 4 days I'll be flying up to talk with Blue to see if they think I can cut it in the city of brotherly love. I hope I can. Here's a little of what I've been up to since becoming a blog-recluse. Hopefully a website will be coming soon as well.




Jason Harmon Demo v 2.0 from Jason Harmon on Vimeo.

This American Blog

"I saw that movie, and it changed my life," she said. But she didn't say it jokingly which would have been fitting for the conversation. She said it sincerely, quite matter-of-factly actually. "For the first time, I felt understood. Like there were other people like me in the world. There were these weird people who liked all these weird things, and that was the first time I knew I wasn't the only person like that."

I knew exactly where she was coming from. About a month ago I had a similar kind of experience, it wasn't a first... just the first in a while... oddly enough she was there for it.

We were sitting out in front of the bar we all go to on Thursdays. This particular Thursday there were five of us tops. Conversation came quickly and I sat and listened to her give a defense for idealism, "Martin Luther King Jr. was an idealist, he changed things." And as the conversation moved to lighter things, we all considered the question, "Could any bands of our generation have the kind of longevity as the Beatles, or Zeppelin?" "Maybe Nirvana," she says. The conversation meanders on, hitting on this and that, never really settling anywhere for too long. In conversations like that, thoughts move quickly. They're fluid. And as all these thoughts flowed from my mind out into the conversation where they were either met as friend or foe by other former thoughts, there was one that stayed firmly fixed, "I feel understood. I'm not the only person like this." Time and again the things she said, were the exact same things that I was about to say... I wasn't alone in my thoughts, and that was refreshing.

Loneliness sucks... that is in fact a true statement. Its biblical... "It's not good for man to be alone." People in college ministries have a lot of fun with that. Really "witty" guys ask out girls during meetings and quote that scripture. Everyone laughs and thinks that guy is so clever. But they laugh because the heart of that statement, and even the sentiment of that spiritual Casanova on stage hamming it up for a date, resonates with them... It is indeed not good to be alone. That truth is embedded in our hearts, like it or not. We feel the weight of it without thinking about it. But its deeper than just asking girls out, or being asked out right? Sure there's got to be truth in that statement on some romantic, marriage kind of level, but even more simple than that, just on a social level, emotionally platonic, feeling like you're alone in the world sucks.

Well of course that's nothing new, but lately I've been noticing a something else. In those rare occasions when your loneliness is challenged, when you're met with the possibility that there are others like you, something interesting seems to happen; something wonderful. Hope springs. But that's not all that happens, at least not in my experience. That hope that wells up, well, it's not alone.... it seems to consistently be accompanied by disappointment and sometimes even pain.


Today, I'm blatantly ripping off This American Life, a radio show that I'm a huge fan of, so our theme today: Hope and Disappointment. Where there is hope, will disappointment naturally follow? If so why is that? Where does hope come from in the first place, and what causes disappointment? As is typical, I'll be bringing you a couple of stories related to this theme. Act 1 - "The keys of Point Breeze," a story of a recent conversation I had with a good friend of mine who has just moved to Philadelphia. Act 2 - "Dude, where's my church??" The story (hopefully abbreviated) of my experience of being drawn in to the church that I'm currently a member of, and how in the two years that I've been there so much of what drew me in seems to have gotten lost, though I hope I that's not the case.

A disclaimer about both of these stories... they involve other people. I am by no means trying to speak for them or tell their stories for them (though I hope to be accurate in my accounts of what people say)... Im just attempting to recount my experiences of conversations / events, and by doing so explore this idea of hope and disappointment.

The stories are long so I'll do multiple posts.... and I actually will post all of them.

Hope its worth your time.

Well... I thought there would be lots to come from Philly, and there may still be a few posts that find their way on here, but I just haven't really been in the mood to write lately.

I've been thinking a lot about what's true. What is true about people, what defines that truth, how it's recognized. I've felt recently that my affections / loyalties are being fought for. Sometimes the persuasions are subtle, analogies that vilify, stories that are weighted. Other times they are more overt... "we can do this and that when you move here." Others still are trickier, gifts from employers received the very day I was thinking of applying elsewhere. Compliments from co-workers, just minutes after conversations about how frustrating a project has been.

I'm seeing that I too am fighting this fight for loyalty as well. "You should check out this show, you'll love it." "This guy is awesome, you should listen to him." When I find something I like, I push it on folks. I wonder how that makes people feel. I'm tired of feeling pushed and pulled. I don't want to be the one pushing. There must be sincerity in it though. These friends care for me and want to protect me. These like having me around. I get so much enjoyment out of something that I don't want friends to miss out on it.

But there's something awful about it too. Its manipulative and it's wearing me out. Conversations become encoded messages and I leave probably decoding them wrongly, but either way tired from trying. Gifts for jobs well done come across as bribes. And I wonder where the truth lies.

I can't help but wonder if it isn't just better to let people find their own way, or is lack of involvement worse? I want to arrive at my own conclusions, to make my own discoveries, at the same time though, I wonder if no one was there beside me in the midst of it, if I'd just end up feeling worse. It's hard to let others find their own way. Trying to control things, or manipulating people, is easier than seeing them make mistakes or possibly being faced with mistakes of your own. What if one person's conclusions stand in opposition to your own... no one wants to be faced with the possibility that their conclusions weren't right.... myself included that's why I'm so tired of thinking about all of this. What if I've been wrong? Wrong about people, friends, all of it. There is a distinct possibility that I'm just flat wrong. And what's worse, I have no idea how to tell.

I can't say that I'm all that close with my family, but earlier today, for the first time, I wondered if the reason why is because they understand what Im talking about right now. They let me find my own way. I appreciate that, though I think this is the first time I've seen it that way. In the past I've interpreted it as them not caring enough to be involved, but I think I've been wrong about that too.

lots to come from Philly...

For a long time now I've only used this blog to post stupid videos, video's I'd been working on, or pretty much mindless strings of words that flowed out of boredom or frustration. Recently I've been thinking a lot, and I've had a lot of time to do it. I'm going to attempt, as several fellow bloggers and blog heroes / friends of mine have done before, to use a personal experience as a format to get out what's been brewing inside. In my case a recent trip to Philadelphia.

As anyone who has ever had more than a 3 minute conversation with me well knows, I have a hard time staying on topic. I'm in no way a linear guy; just don't think that way. I'm scattered. I start a sentence, only get out half the word, think of a better way to phrase the thought that my mind has already left in search of the follow up only to begin the sentence over three times before getting it out. And by the time it's finally out I'm busy chasing the rabbit that ran across some other synapses in my mind and I forget the original point that I was getting at. (the fact that I do this is not a recent discovery to me but rather a very well known and sometimes frustrating quirk) But usually somewhere along the rabbit trail, something I think of reminds me of my original thought and I'm back to square one....

All that to say... bear with me because I'm not going to tell this story in order... if indeed I tell it at all. I'm going to try and share, with all who care to read, my observations and the subsequent rabbit trails I find myself on during my time in Philadelphia (which was only a few days). I hope that makes some kind of sense... but true to form here's a better way of saying all that. I'm not going to give you the play by play of my time there because that wouldn't be any fun, but rather I hope to share what I experienced by being there. I'm so looking forward to writing about it all, and taking a little closer look at myself through it. I've avoided writing anything remotely personal on here for roughly a year now. I suppose a little self-disclosure is due.

put on you diapers...

cause this junk is funny.

last one I'll post...

I wasn't going to post it at all actually, but Ginny asked about the next installment... so look out internets... hope you can handle the traffic.



Its still not perfect... but the tracks are a lot more solid and the shots are way more complex. Maybe the folks at the festival will like it and you'll see a real deal version on tv this summer.

check it...again

I added a new shot... the second one (it took forever because of all the camera motion) and color corrected all of it.
Some of the tracks are still off, so if I get some time I may work on those a bit more too.

Thanks for all the comments so far.

little something I've been working on....

more to come in the way of writing later. but here's a work in progress that I'm working on for a few commercials....
its a big pic, click on if you want to see the detail.

absolutely beautiful....

http://www.onesize.nl/project.php?id=33

this is absolutely amazing. Its an experimental piece by one of my new favorite motion design houses. these guys are from the Netherlands too... which makes them double cool

SKYDIVE FACE SUKKA...

this is where I still live...

if I had a digital camera (other than the dandy one on my phone) I'd take a picture of my cheap one bedroom apartment and post it right on here so everyone could see it... but i don't because, as the would be picture of my apartment could show, I'm cheap but I digress.
Today after returning from work, at a reasonable hour for the first time in a while I might add, my land lord walked up to me and asked me if I was planning on renewing my lease. I'd been thinking about it for a while. The question of leaving is one that I tend to keep close. A lot of my friends are moving or have already moved. Others have interviews all over the place, or at least have interviews at different places here in town. But for me this spring doesn't seem to hold much in the way of big change. I moved last year, and shortly after changed jobs. Granted that move was only a few blocks and the change in jobs was fairly similar, but it felt like a lot. It seems like I can't go a single week without someone asking me when I'm going to leave Birmingham. I guess that's a hole I dug for myself. I talk about leaving, I really like the thought of it too, and I think I will someday, but I'm not so sure that day will be this year.
For the first time in 7 or 8 years (since my junior year of high school) I'll be living in the same place for more than 11 months in a row. I couldn't be happier about it. I get tired of it here, my job gets frustrating, I get lonely, I get mad at my church, basically I get bored, but I just don't feel like I've walked far enough down this road to get off of it yet.

I've got some more things to write about but seeing as how this is my first real post in several months, I guess I should ease back into it. So, taking note from my friend Su, I'll stop short and hopefully post again soon.

and people think graffiti writers are stupid...

i tend to disagree.

i don't know how old i am...

in recent conversations, about 3 or 4 of them actually, the topic of my age has arisen. each time when asked the question, "how old are you anyway?" i confidently answer 24... apparently that answer suits me since i've been giving it for the past 16 months. a little while ago while talking about a possible laptop purchase, i say, "if i get it, it better last me till i die." my friend responds in an imitation old man voice, "i've had this laptop since i was 25 years old." "silly girl..." I think to myself, "i'm only 24." then i say, "but i'm only 24" and she laughs, knowing the truth because our birthdays are in fact only a few days apart, and then informs me that i am 25. i realize that on my birthday this reality should have sunk in... but i was busy and for whatever reason it just didn't take. i feel like a different person now... i seem to have lost a year, that scares me.

so to all the people that i've recently had conversations with about feeling like an old 24 year old... there is more truth to that statement than i thought. i should work less.


(on a side note i think i remember writing something a few months ago on here about thinking like a normal 25 year old or something, so i suppose there are times when i realize my own age, but sadly those times are counteracted by months of obliviousness)

another update...

over the past week I've become aware, once again, of how fortunate I am to have the friends that I do. life's been a bit of a bummer for me lately. when Im in a funk like that, its a sho-nuff funk, and I tend to stay there feeling sorry for myself for a while. but the past week in particular my friends have been a great help in the unfunking process, and Im really thankful for that. one of the most exciting parts about it for me though is that in addition to my tried and true group of buddies, some of the unfunkers haven't been the usual suspects. one guy in particular, a 60-year-old co-worker, has been a great surprise. also old friends have entered again and I remember why I love them. it seems that just when I have decided that Ive been forgotten, Im shown that Im remembered. thats comforting.

on a side note for anyone who hasn't seen me in the last month... Im rockin a beard now.

till next month...

whats been happnin...

lotsa work is whats been happnin. thats why I haven't written in forever. i used to write in my down time at work, subsequently when there's no down time there's no writing. but... due to the fact that my office has now moved, and the internet service that we had at our old office, which is completely paid for by my boss, would not transfer from our old location to the new one, but would however transfer to my apartment, I can blog from the comfort of my own home, and all for free... at least free to me. other than work being crazy, the rest of my life feels crazy too. i think for the most part i bring it on myself. i sometimes wonder if i'll ever have the thought processes of a normal 25 year old human. i tend to stress myself out about everything, be over analytical, and not too much fun to be around... well i am those things at least in situations/contexts that i feel are serious or where a lot is at stake or that are just really important to me. that kind of sucks because then the things that are the most important or the closest to me cause me the most distress and i have the hardest time enjoying the things / people that i want to enjoy the most. as far as i can remember i've always been that way. recently though, i'm starting to see this as a fault, and wondering how to deal with it. maybe dr. phill has a website that i can check, again from the comfort of my own home, and without the judgmental glances of coworkers.

here's a video david showed me...

Stop Motion Battle

montly blog update...

I love Christmas. Always have, and even though my experience of it is changing because Im gettin old, I expect I'll always love it. I was at SouthTown last night setting up video equipment so the kids could watch a movie, eat popcorn, and drink hot chocolate. At least that was the plan. What actually happened was we set up the equipment the kids complained about the hot chocolate, asked for water instead, spilled all of the above on the floor, threw popcorn in the puddles, and fought with each other. Thats about what I expected so it really wasn't too big of a deal. There were a few kids though that watched the movie (the Santa Clause 2). There weren't any more chairs so Brandie and I sat in the floor... soon enough every single kid followed, all squeezing as close to her and me as they could. Then the kids started fighting and calling each other "you ol' nasty" and other various holiday names. The party in the floor soon came to an end, and that combined with the number of kids who had either become disinterested or sent home, left plenty of chairs for the rest of us good boys and girls. So we finished the movie. There was one scene that struck me... and I know that sounds ridiculous due to the fact that its Tim Allen as Santa Clause but still... there was some kind of party where all these grumpy adults were, and Santa (not looking like santa but still having special Christmas powers) was seeking to spread some Holiday cheer. Santa pulled out a sack of presents and started calling names. The adults were pretty hesitant but after a couple of them opened their gifts, which were vintage toys that they loved growing up, the crowd grew merry and the party turned into a big ol' love fest with all the adults playing "toss across" and "rock 'em sock 'em robots." The thing that hit me was this... its wasn't getting stuff that made the people happy, it was being known and understood. Maybe it was nostalgia, who knows? But I know when I get some dull old shirt or something like that for Christmas I don't feel warm and tingly. But when someone gives me something that captures a little piece of who I am... that gets me. The reason it gets me is because that gift is something tangible saying, "I know you well enough to know you'll understand." I think thats pretty swell.
Anywho there's my december update hope it'll tide you over to next year.

some high-points from my holiday...

(not necessarily in order of fantastic-ness)

1. learning a little about Flame...

2. watching "Walk the Line" with my dad... favorite lines by far...

"Mr. Cash your fans are Christians. They don't want to hear a record of you live from a prison, trying to cheer up murderers and convicts."

"Well, they must not be Christians."

3. realizing why I have a good relationship with Pop. We'd both much rather talk than watch TV... even if all we talk about is SEC football.

4. drinking beer with gene.

5. beating super mario brothers 1 (NES) in less than 8 minutes. yes, it can be done. the guys in the video below did it in less than 6. i've still got some work to do.

i'm learnin...

or at least i'm trying. i've got about 3 to 4 feet of manuals to read. i stopped counting pages, chapters, and volumes and started thinking in terms of the trusty ole english measurement system... and that stack doesn't include the numerous PDFs, help files, online tutorials, and user forums. it's pretty daunting, but it's fun. i met a guy that knows this stuff in and out. talking with him, seeing the stuff that he'd done, and hearing about what his friends were doing, has got me pretty motivated to learn this junk. he came in to help troubleshoot our new-top-of-the-line-ultra-swank system this week. i also found out that he is a programmer and is responsible for writing the code for some of the stuff that we will be using soon.
anyway in addition to learning all this software (smoke, flame, maya) now i'm seeing that if i want to really be on top of things i'm going to need to learn 2 more operating systems, and even a little bit of programming. so as i'm learning software, i'm having to wade my way through all the ins and outs of networking and filestructures of linux (not to mention making a linux box talk to the mac's and windows machines in the place) i really haven't had to deal with it much, my boss has though, and from seeing what he's gone through it don't look easy.
anyway all in all i'm having fun and am excited about being here. i actually got a call from my old art professor yesterday asking me to consider going to grad school at Penn State. honestly the prospect doesn't sound as appealing as what i'm doing now. i'm going to talk to him a little more about it though. i also don't think that i would cut the mustard in grad school. anyway here is some more cool stuff for anyone who would like to check out.

Shilo Design... these guys rule (check out the Huff show open)
Autodesk... makers of all things that are myserious to me.



this is a screenshot from flame...look interesting to anyone?

he doesn't look a thing like jesus...

i love those moments where art and truth cross paths. i especially like it when i see that intersection in pop media. about a month ago i was watching snl and saw the killers playing some songs off their new album, Sam's Town. i've never been much of a killers fan, always thought they were a little too poppy to have any weight. but i watched anyway (after all what else would i be doing on a saturday night??) "he doesn't look a think like jesus, but he talks like a gentlemen just like you imagined when you were young." the lines haunted me for about a week. it was so clever and yet so true. the song is called "When You Were Young." a friend of mine brought over the album last night. i've probably listened to that song 10 times since then.

"you sit there in your heartache, waiting for some beautiful boy to save you from your old ways... he doesn't look a thing like jesus..."

i'm seeing just how often i want to be rescued from my present situation by some idealized person, or even by idealized situations. thats why i'm constantly disappointed in people and experience discontentment with my job... i'm looking to them to make my life better, to satisfy me in some way. but those things never will (its not their intended function... at least i don't think it is) and its wrong for me to expect that they could. i surely don't want anyone to put those expectations on me.

anyway, check out the killers' new stuff. that one song is really one of the only ones off the album i like, but you guys are probably cooler than me and have better taste in music so take that advice for what its worth.

Beware of the Bear...

So Ive got this idea for a movie...

A reanimated Zombie coach Bear Bryant is hired to coach in the inner city so can he whip some troubled youth into a great football team... but the catch is he has to eat some of the kids to stay alive. The PTA will vote to keep the Bear on as a coach sacrificing the band and smart kids as long as the boys win a state championship. During the state championship game at Legion Field (where the Bear became the winningest coach in college football history) the Bear storms the field at half time eating various members of the opposing team's marching band. An angry parent then shoots the Bear in the head (thats the only way to kill zombies) and then angry long time Alabama football fans kill the parent who killed the bear. Eventually after much bloodshed the referees restore order and the game continues. Zombie Bear's boys go on to win the state championship and dedicate the season to their fallen mentor... all while standing in the crimson stain of the Bear's (and many band members) blood. I think its got some potential.

movie blog updated...

check it out if you'd like...

one of the things i miss the most...

a few things i've seen recently...

Julie from the original Real World not the blonde mormon from New Orleans. i saw her leaving surin in 5 points last sunday night. both friends that were with me didn't know who she was so i was alone in my glee... (i'm way too familiar with this season because i've watched it untold amounts of times while editing out everything but negative statements or situations for an art project... maybe i'll explain / post a video another time.)

a little fella, no older than 6 wearing football pads riding his sisters bike, which was too small even for him, all the while blowing a police whistle. (this tops my favorites list of things i've seen recently.)

a guy, who seemed a little unstable, walking in front of my office with a wal-mart bag and a little blue bird of some sort riding on his shoulder. the bird was alive and not stuffed.

lastly some pretty rad commercials. check them out if you wish. these guys are some of my motion design heroes.

Loyal Kaspar Check out work / recent work / sampo (thats the pic) also the kayak stuff is awesome.




Belief these guys also do fantastic work.

still makin it...

i figured i'd better write something on here before i lost all readership. (i actually don't think many people read to begin with but anywho...)

i've actually written a good bit lately. i've almost put some of it on here. i've typed stuff at home and saved it on my little usb drive with intentions of sharing it, but when i start to upload it, i decide against it. there've also been several times when i sat down and started writing in this little "compose" window and i just stop half way through and log out. i guess i'm feeling more and more like i have less and less to say. i wonder if that makes any sense. i used to view this little offramp of the information superhighway as a spot where i could say fancy things and make people think that i am fancy as well. then i would be revered among my peers for my wonderful insights into life and western culture and all that. now most often, i find myself with nothing to say. there are a few friends blogs that i read... they are listed to the right of this, and there are a few that i like a lot that aren't (Susan's, DS in Southside's, Under the Mountain, and a couple others... sorry I haven't added them yet guys), and i enjoy reading what they have to say. i've found few others that are genuine. my granny asked me if id come and teach her sunday school class one day. all i could think was, "what would i have to tell them?" i was laying in bed the night after i was asked to do the sunday school thing thinking, "this time last year i was preparing to talk to a room full of college kids about Gospel Centered Community. im not sure what i'd do if they asked me to come back.

on a different note, i'll be one quarter of a century old tomorrow. so far i have a high-minded scholarly book (that my sis gave me) that makes me feel smarter just by owning it, an X-Men dvd, which serves as ballast, two hamburgers and a little less than half an apple pie to show for this accomplishment of making it one more year.

for some Sidewalk reviews...

check out my movie review blog

L A R P I N G is the life for me...

i feel like all ive done for the last month is work. there is truth in this perception, but thats really not worth writing about.
i just finished watching some documentaries at Sidewalk, the last of which was a doc on LARPING (live action role playing... for all those not in the know). two friends and i sat and laughed at people playing wizards and warriors on soccer fields and in the woods for two hours and when we left the question on all of our minds was, "what was the point?" were we simply to find joy in the communal effort of 200 or so people laughing at nerds beating eachother with nerf swords, or was there something more to it? i think the biggest thing that came to my mind, and its not an original thought... probably any thinking person there came to the same conclusion, was that behind all the lightning bolts, catapults, armor, and poisonus death spells there are people, wanting community, wanting to be loved, wanting to be accepted. i want all that stuff too. sometimes i get glimpses of it, but for every glimpse i get, i get an equal and opposite glimpse of heartache, betrayal, and lonliness. guess that newton guy was on to something. i dont mean to sound melodramatic... i hate those blogs... but ive just felt a bit beaten up here lately and i guess for one reason or another i haven't had much time to recover. even the fine warriors of DARKON needed time to mend their shields. maybe thats what i need these days... or maybe fewer shields and fewer battles.

Waiting

Here's the trailer for the short that I've been working on. If you like it check it out at Sidewalk

look mom i'm becoming an editor...

i've been working a lot. i'm ok with that, i'm learning a lot. monday i started editing another short for sidewalk. i'll have two shorts that i've edited in the festival this year. the one that i've been working on, "waiting," has really been fun. the screenplay originally written by a student at alabama, i think, as an exercise in character development, but then was entered in the festivals "sidewrite" competition. it won and as part of the deal sidewalk recruited people to make the short. sidewalk recruited a very talented dp (director of photography) to work with the young writer and get the film shot. but that never really panned out so now it's been rewritten by another very talented writer/director. (these two guys met when the writer hired the shooter to film a short that will hopefully be premiering at sundance or cannes...these guys ain't playin around) anyway long story short, my boss agreed to edit it about a year ago, but because he's been so busy i took it on. i was a little nervous at first, like i said, these guys actually know what they're doing, i'm just faking it, but i think i've done ok. today we finished the rough cut. this morning the director was out working on some other things and the dp was preoccupied with some other stuff so i was just cutting away all by myself and i turned out two scenes cut just the way i wanted to, no extra frames for this or that reason, no different angle because of this or that and lo and behold... everyone loved them. two people watching one of the scenes at different times both said it was the scene that made the film... they said it gave them goosebumps. i felt like an editor then. most of the time i just feel like i'm pushing buttons and filling in the blank spaces. it felt good to have my thoughts and emotions about this one scene translate to the viewers. especially considering the viewers. i think i might make a career out of this stuff. all this movie stuff is gonna catch on one of these days, people are really gonna dig it.

windows are great...

i love windows, and that is not a reference to pc operating systems manufactured by microsoft, i'm talking about the kind that i get to look through from my new edit suite. i've been working the new job for 3 days. day 1 i stayed until 8:30. day 2 10. today... its 6 now and i'm on my way out. there's a lot to be done, and its only going to get more busy. its a good thing (martha stewart voice). i really do love doing this kind of work and i'm loving the new company. the clients talk to me when they come in. jokes are made, people laugh, my boss is always here later than me working his arse off. its a good place. but again i like the windows. my windows overlook the prairie fire grill (think thats what its called). i can see the fosters beer sign all day long. i also have some nice trees with little white flowers on them that meet me at eye level in my second floor edit haven. the view is not always great though, today i saw a lady crying on the bench right underneath the fosters sign. she had a wedding ring on her finger so i assumed the guy that was trying his best to not deal with her was her husband. eventually he walked away, shortly she followed. i wondered what she was doing with him. maybe he isn't such a bad guy. she could be pretty mean herself. who knows? either way it made me sad for the two of them. maybe happier things will be there for me to observe and create my own scenarios for tomorrow. if not there are still the trees for me to smile at.

celebrities love their publix...

I went home yesterday so I could borrow a couple of video cameras from my parents. Yeah, they have two cameras, I have none. I think that after I got out of school and started making a living with video, they figured, "Well, we raised him and all that so we can probably make some money doing what he's doing." They bought a computer and some cameras hoping to make money doing weddings and junk. I don't know if they have or not, but more power to them. Anyway Im doing a wedding video for a friend and needed the cameras. Other than it taking me almost an hour and a half to get there it was a fun afternoon. Shelby county sucks by the way. (I have to go through there to get to Chilton County where my parents live.)
Anyway on my way home I decided to go ahead and stop and get some groceries. I have $5 off coupons at Publix, so I decided to swing by the one in Vestavia because it was on my way. I have a theory that 99% of the time Im just a single moment either behind or ahead of fate. Example: I walk out of my apartment just in time to see a really attractive neighbor close the door to her car. "Dangit... I had to go back and get that change off my dresser." One split second earlier and I might be married. Stuff like that happens to me EVERY DAY. Im cursed I think. Well not yesterday, thats for sure. I grab my cart and start the time trial. Im a fast Publix shopper. I head straight for the bread and who is standing there getting the same kind of bread that I want? Devon Walsh. That's right Devon Walsh from Fox 6 News.

I knew it was her because I'd actually met her before. Fox 6 used the studio at Ticheli's where I'll work for another week to shoot some Christmas promo junk. Screw you one moment off fate curse, I win this round. I smile and get my bread and go on about my business. But then I make the turn to go get some other necessities, and there she is again. Lucky. It was pretty awesome. I never did talk to her, but that was ok. I figured she didn't want to be pestered anyway. She is taller than I remembered, at least as tall as me, maybe a little taller.
I got a kick out of it. Devon Walsh is the second attractive news lady that I've met. I've also met Kate Mundy (42 and 21 weekends). I met her at a Halloween party, and she is very small... I mean she is a tiny person. Its always neat seeing someone in real life that talks to you from the TV. Each night at 5, 6, 9 or 10 they look right at us and tell us all about the junk that passes for news in our fair city, this time I got to look back and smile and imagine how funny it would be were I to flip out and cause a scene. That would have been something to blog about.

a few disjointed thoughts...

for anyone that I've been to lazy or forgetful to talk to in person recently.

1.) I got a new job. Its the one I talked about a few posts back. I haven't started yet, but should start sometime in the next couple of weeks. In the meantime I'm trying to teach myself the programs that I'll be working with. I typically second guess everything I do, to the point of losing sleep most often. But I've slept easy having made this decision.

2.) Speaking of dreams, "The Science of Sleep" (Michel Gondry) looks to be the most amazing movie that I will see this year. It comes out in september so that comment is more of an assumption or a hope than a review. It just looks so beautiful. All the stop motion work, the fact that everything is hand crafted, the aviodance of CGI effects (yes I make a living digitially altering video and to a degree that stuff is cool, but I much prefer hand made stuff) not to mention an interesting story. So September 15th, if it opens in Birmingham, Im there, even if I have to go by myself.







3.) I had an almost two hour long conversation yesterday with a guy I work with as to wether or not an ordinary person could design, build, and own/operate a roller coaster on their own. I say no. He says yes. He obviously cared a lot more about it than me, thus the long talk. I was pretty tired of talking about it, but seeing people who have dreams is always welcome. If anyone is interested I'd like to know what anyone reading thinks. Is is possible to build a real rollercoaster on you own?
There are a few examples, but Im not sure I'd call this an actual roller coaster. Cool definitely but not what I had in mind.






4.) I really love the Andy Griffith Show. I've watched it 2 times a day for more than half of my life I think (allowing for the occasional missed day). I googled it today to see what kindred spirits were lurking the internets. I have to say that I am a casual observer compared to the rest of the TAGS fan club. TAGS is internet speak for The Andy Griffith Show. Did you know there are 250 episodes in all? I didn't, and I am humbled. I feel like I know so much, and yet I've experienced so little.

regular stuff...

After watching the movie Me and You and Everyone We Know last weekend I've found myself turning my attention more to the ordinary, and I've seen some really beautiful things.

While watching the World Cup final between France and Italy in a Peruvian restaurant, I saw several hispanic kids running around. All I could think was, "look at all those new U.S. citizens."

Later that night while at some friends' apartment, sitting alone while one friend cooked some food for the other's boyfriend, I saw on the other side of their courtyard and young man, probably younger than me sitting on his stoop watching his young daughter play in the grass. He looked tired. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out what I thought was a cell phone. Soon enough though I saw that it was no phone he had, but a harmonica with which he put on a beautiful concert for one tiny admirer. I couldn't hear the music because I was on the inside looking out, but judging by the response of his daughter, I think I was in the presence of the greatest harmonica player living today. The concert was short lived, as most truly great things I suppose. He quickly put it away when his wife and their brand-new-not-one-day-old daughter came out of the apartment. (I know the age of the new baby because my friends went out to meet their neighbors. When seeing the little-bitty one they asked, "How old is she?" and the mom responded "not even a day.")

A few days later as I was going to work a car passed me at an intersection; a beige Dodge Intrepid, similar to my Granny's. It had a rather large American flag magnet on the driver-side door positioned just a few inches below the window through which I saw an elderly Hispanic man. He is more patriotic than I've ever been. Usually when I see big flags on cars I get angry, this time I smiled.

Just last night at a local bar / restaurant I saw an elderly couple sitting and eating. I rarely feel cool enough to be at this place, so I wondered if they felt out of place. Maybe they did and were strong enough to get over it. Maybe they didn't because they just don't care anymore. Maybe they never cared. At any rate they were there eating and I thought that was great.

On my walk home I passed the retirement home that is next to my building, and I saw an ambulance and a fire truck. Its not at all uncommon. They never seem to be in a hurry though. All lights and no sirens. Each time I see them I wonder if one of the elderly folks who could have been at Rojo with me is now dead in the back of that ambulance. It's not a great thought, but unfortunately I guess death is ordinary too.

i like movies....

so much that i made a whole new blog devoted soley to me talking about them.
check it out if you'd like. from now on that's where all the movie trailers and stuff will go.

My Movie Review Blog

summer's crept in...

I have a feeling that changes are coming. I've been talking a lot with the guy that offered me the new job this past week. I go back and fourth "knowing" that its the best thing for me. Where I have been has been a great job. The guys there have always given me more respect and responsibilty than I have deserved. Its difficult to walk away from a situation like that. But as I have thought about it and continue to think about it, I think I've lived out my opportunity there. I was emailing a friend in Brasil about a month ago. I was just catching up and found myself telling him, "Im still working the same job that I was at the last time we wrote....actually its been about 2 years now. It's been 2 years and I've barely noticed. Sometimes I think to myself that I must be careful, or that 2 years will become 20 and I won't realize it." That thought terrifies me. A life settled for. It made me think of that Death Cab for Cutie song, the Sound of Settling. "Ba Baaaa....this is the sound of settling. I've got a hunger twisting my stomach into knots." "Ba Baaa," the same as saying, "oh well, this is good enough I guess." It was no more than a week after that email that I was offered the new job. Sometimes I think that the presence of a desire is the assurance of it's fulfillment. I feel that a lot of desires must be God given, and to me it stands to reason that if God gives desires to people, and then also promises to give them the desires of their hearts, as they learn to love Him, then the fact that there are new desires present in people can be taken as the assurance of their eventual fulfillment. I've never seen myself staying where I am for very long. Talking with another friend about the job move, I found myslef talking about running while there was opportunity. Opportunity doesn't often come seeking you, so when it does maybe its best to run toward it.
In talking with the guy at the new place, he kept asking, "where do you want to end up?" Though the people Im working with now have been wonderful to me, I never remember anyone asking me what I wanted to do in this business. I love the thought of that question. I like thinking that I need only to make up my mind and start moving in that direction. There is so much that interests me in the industry, motion design, editing, compositing, 3D animation, color grading... even writing. After hearing that I was interested in all those things the guy at the new place gave me some advise on possible ways to get to one of those ends. He even told me that the director that he works with the most, works closely with a colorist in Atlanta and if Im serious about going that route then he could introduce me to him.
I absolutely love working with the stuff that I get to work with and the thought of continuting to learn new stuff and work with more creative clients really is exciting to me.
I'd written a while back about the seasons. How as seasons change I think God can remind His people to change with them. I don't think that means that four times a year one should change jobs, but every now and again, change is needed.

another one...

I've recently joined Netflix and subsequently have been watching a lot of movies...hence the barrage of movie reviews. Well here's another one.

Kiss Kiss Ban Bang, is probably the funniest movie I've seen since Napoleon Dynamite. It's completely different obviously but laugh for laugh, to me, this one gave Napoleon a run for his sweet moolah. It's a dark comedy with lots of cussin', adult themes, some nudity, and a bunch of killing. About par for the course as far as black comedies go I suppose, but it's just so quick-witted that I fell in love with it from the first few scenes. If you're not easily offended, you'll love this one. I'd probably compare it to a more polished, less violent, more playful than spiritual natured Boondock Saints. And if you haven't seen the Boondock Saints, shame on you all.

the outback...

In the past week Ive seen two films set in the same time period, similar in theme, yet distinctly different in perspective. Both are set in the 1880s - 90's Australian Outback, when it was still being colonized by the British. Due to the American Revolution in the late 1700's Britian, who before this time as an alternative to hanging some of British socities worst, offered to transport the guilty to Maryland, now had to seek other locations to transport its criminals. Eventually they began using Australia for this purpose. After originally using Autralia, home of thousands of Aboriginal people, as a criminal dumping site, the Europeans decided to continue to grace, New South Whales, with the presence of more refined British citizens. This continued occupation of course led to all kinds of problems both with the tons of convicts and the Aboriginal people who's land and way of life were being taken away from them.
The first film I saw "The Rabbit Proof Fence" was a story of three girls who were "half-caste" meaning that their mothers were Aboriginal and their fathers were European. The government haveing already established that the whites of Australia were civilized and indeed human and that the Aboriginies were clearly sub-human, did not know what to do with this new half breed. Rather than rethink their dichotomous worldview, they decide to capture all the half-caste children and civilize them, meaning teach them english and how to do household chores and farm. The line of thinking was that if they could keep them from reproducing among themselves or force reproducing with whites that in three generations there would be no more black in the blood line.
In the film the three half-caste girls are taken to a training school 1500 miles away from their home, but decide to run away and try to make it back to their family.
There was a hopeful thread throughout, a sense that there was some greater power than the Europeans that would lead the girls back to their families. The people under such persicution were the people with the most determined faith.

The second film is called "The Proposition." The story again of family. This time a family of convicts sent from Ireland, left to rot in the outback. The men continue to commit crime in Australia leading to the arrest of two of the three brothers by the captian of the state police. The police makes a deal with the middle brother, that he will not hang the youngest if the middle will murder the eldest.


Throughout this movie you see the mindset of the Europeans, "I will civilize this land." Referring to the criminals as well as the Aboriginies. There were a few interesting things to me about this film. One was how the refined Europeans in many ways were the most barbarrac. They were the ones with the worldview that said, "blacks are sub-human, of a different origin than us." While the more you see the criminal brothers interact, they are the ones that have a deep love and concern for eachother, though it plays out rather oddly. They all are well read and quote poetry, one even has a small library of his own. Also the most barbarrac of the brothers lives with an Aboriginal man, and considers him equal. The second thing that struck me about this film is the one thing that stands the most in contrast to the other film, the overarching godless worldview held by each character. A bounty hunter captures the sentiment in a breif conversation with the middle brother. The middle brother asks something to the effect of, "Are you a believing man?" The bounty hunter responds, "I once was, before I came to this God-forsaken land. Now all the God in me just seems to have evaporated."

Both of these films, I thought, were fantastic, though quite different. Seeing two films about this particular time period in the same week has sparked a lot of thought in me about a group of people believing that their way of thinking is correct and then living accordingly, at the expense of others. The Europeans thought that the Aboriginies needed to be civilized or killed, so they captured them, forced their way of life on them or killed them.

I guess for me the question continues to be how do I live in light of a worldview that says there is one correct belief system by which to live?

dang...

I've heard a lot about this documentary on Wal-Mart (Wal-Mart: the high cost of low prices) and I finally watched it last night. Holy crap. I haven't been so angry in quite some time.
Of course I know that editors and directors can selectively use material to "prove" their points, but there is simply too much within this film for me to believe that in reality everything in Wal-World is hunky-dorry and the director has just found a few people and only taken the bad things they say and made a movie from it. The section where they interview Chinese workers and they tell the film makers about how "rent" for the factory dormitory is automatically cut out of thier pay, regaurdless if they choose to live there or not, all the while working 12 hour days for less that $3 per day. It honestly made me sick to my stomach. Gosh, there is so much in there that made me mad. I also wonder how many other business (Lowe's, HomeDepot, Target, Starbucks) are conducting similar business practices. I do know that at Starbucks workers can at least get some kind of health care insurance, and it seems to be affordable to the workers. Anyway, not to push opinions or "propaganda" on anyone but people should check out the movie. It at very least is good fuel for thought / conversation.


Here's a clip of the director on CNN.

this round's on me...

i haven't been drinking for very long, alchohol that is, but recently i've noticed a certain culture that comes with the territory and its different than what old pastors, televangelists, and grandparents warned me of. i was always told that drinking led to all sorts of debauchery (anyone reading this can use their imagination here). i was led to believe that nothing good came from drinking, just addictions and heart ache. true, that can come but it doesn't always and that is not the side that i've experienced at all. a few weeks ago, after the funeral of a great friend of mine, some other friends and I decided to pass some stories of our friend that we are left to miss over a few pictures of beer at our local neighborhood "On Tap" sports bar. Well after a few pitchers, several stories, and many laughs the bill came. We all reached for our wallets and began to ask our overworked waitress if she could split it. but we were all stopped. stephen, the one guy at the table that wasn't a believer, said "hey guys i got it." i was kinda taken back. that was more than 20 bucks worth of beer. i wouldn't have paid for all of it. but he did and his only response was, "guys, is a few beers. seriously." then i began noticing this type of drinking congeniality / generosity in more places. at community group jimmy would bring 12 packs and share them with me, never asking me to chip in. again at stephen's wedding shower, the invitations clearly stated BYOB. i didn't but when i got there, i think every single person there offered freely of the beer they'd brought. again at community group we ate out and jon becker after already ordering one glass before gene and i got there, sees me sit down without a beer and asks, "hey you guys want a pitcher, i'll grab one," not waiting for my answer. time and again i see a spirit of generosity, welcome, and community surrounding beer. who knew? i see it in believers and non-believers alike....beer kindness tends not to be categorized like that. its pretty fantastic i think. but still everytime someone orders a pitcher, i think to myself, "better him than me." and the more that i saw that attitude in myself the more i realize that im just a selfish jerk.
well last night david called me and asked if i wanted to go to rojo. my mission was clear. i was to join the ranks of the beer buying brotherhood....even if it wasn't happy hour anymore. we got there and i called jimmy, who lives on top of rojo and didn't care to eat but i knew he'd drink some if it was there waiting for him. david and i ordered, i made sure to go first and ordered a pitcher of stella, which i was told they were out of, so then i resorted to hoegartën. we sat down poured our beers and began to talk. wonderful conversations happen over beer, this is another fact that i'm becoming convinced of. then jimmy came. "saddle up partner" (ala jim carrey....dumb and dumber) i said as i poured jimmy a glass. good times were had by all.
i liken the whole experience to the story of smurfette. see smurfette was originally designed by gargamel, the evil sorcerer, to infiltrate the smurf colony and bring it down. but eventually the overwhelming goodness of the smurf way of life changed her, and she decided to live there and be smurffy with all the others. in a lot of ways i was brought up to believe that drinking was flat wrong, but it was good to hang out with drinkers, so that they could see the error of their ways in my righteous living, and be changed. that's not why i began hanging out with drinkers, honestly most of the people i drink with have a far better understanding of how to live rightly than i do, but at any rate it's i who am being changed by the groups of people that i've been hanging out with and i think thats just smurffy.

changes...?

well i was offered a new job today. not sure that i'll take it. it's nice to be wanted though. i've said for a few years now that the guy that's running this place is probaby the best editor in town. or at least i respect his work the most anyway. he's getting a lot more business and just has to have another guy. he needs someone with a strong design sense, experience / interest in working with 3D / charachter animation, and will be able to edit on final cut and also smoke and flame. thats a tall order in any market, much less birmingham. i'm actually pretty flattered that i'm the guy he thought of when considering those needs. i don't think i fit those needs perfectly, but i think i could.
the new job offers a lot of excitement, learning new things, and playing with more powerful toys. i'd still be doing crappy car stuff most of the time, but i'd also be doing other higher profile stuff some time too. i'm not sure i'd have the comfort i have where i am now. i have great insurance, a 401(k), i walk to work, and i'm beginning to love the people here. but at the same time this gig is kind of a dead end. we're never going to have clients that want good products, they just want it fast and cheap.
i feel connected to this place. they've given me more chances to learn and prove myself than i'd ever imagined that i could have in a first job. they also gave me a $6000 a year raise last year. granted i'll probably never have one of those again, but it makes me feel very appreciated, and i'm not sure i'd feel right about walking away from this.
but i've always said that birmingham is not where i want to live and die. and i hope to work in a bigger market and work with better clients. this could be a step in the right direction. i'm just not sure. i'm supposed to get together a reel of some of what i consider my better work and give that to the guy. he's going to get some of his better work together and send that my way. then we'll meet up again and talk more nuts and bolts. i'll keep the internets up to date on the situation as well.
as always....any opinions are welcome....unless you are my current boss posing as someone else.

just some thoughts...

Recently through different circumstances and series of events I've become increasingly intrigued by words. Intrigued by the skill in which some friends and heroes are able to craft their words in such a way as to evoke an emotional response from me. It works on all levels. I'm challenged, hurt, inspired, and disenchanted by words flowing from the people around me.

"Are there black children there? I don't want my kids exposed to drugs you know."
--a coworker.

"Am I a Christian? Are you a Jew? Did you kill my Lord? Must I forgive you?
I know its hard to be original. In fact, nothing scares me more. Because Jesus only lets me do what has been done before."
--David Bazan from "Selling Advertising"

Also I've been thinking about the value of one's life story against the next guys. I read a book, "Raising Fences," an autobiographical account of a guy that grew up in the LA projects and made it out and graduated from UCLA grad school and is now a writer. I found myself comparing my life to his. How interesting his seems; how dull mine seems. The more I read though, I started to think, "if this guy lived around here, we'd probably be hanging out this weekend." I wonder if what separates a seemingly interesting life from a seemingly dull one is simply the skill with which the story is recounted.

Finally Im a little disheartened and confused now. I have a desire for diversity amongst my friends, in the relationships that I have. I love my fiends and wouldn't trade them for anything. However Im noticing that my circles of friends are quite concentric and monochromatic. It seems to be a hard ring to break out of. I don't think its going to happen by default either. I think it will take a lot of intentionality on my part to meet people that are different than I am, which isn't so bad, just difficult to start.

DRAGONFORCE

indefinite break...

Well going along the same lines as my last blog, Im kinda down on all this junk now. I picked a good time to be down on it I guess. More of my friends than ever are blogging now, figures I'd want to stop when everyone else is starting. Also I feel that now more so than ever I have stuff that I feel I should write. To that end Im writing at home with a pen and if anyone cares to know about it call me or come visit....don't text message me on my phone though, I hate that crap.
I do think that periodically I'll still put up cool stuff that I find online, or photos or video work that Im proud of or that I think is too cool not to have on a blog.

To that end, here's a photo of a painting a friend of mine did. I want to buy it actually. It rules. So does a lot of his other stuff, including his new cd, TYRONE.



Click DUSTIN for more of his stuff.
Oh yeah, this is called, "How Come Jermaine Got Two Popcicles?"