i feel like all ive done for the last month is work. there is truth in this perception, but thats really not worth writing about.
i just finished watching some documentaries at Sidewalk, the last of which was a doc on LARPING (live action role playing... for all those not in the know). two friends and i sat and laughed at people playing wizards and warriors on soccer fields and in the woods for two hours and when we left the question on all of our minds was, "what was the point?" were we simply to find joy in the communal effort of 200 or so people laughing at nerds beating eachother with nerf swords, or was there something more to it? i think the biggest thing that came to my mind, and its not an original thought... probably any thinking person there came to the same conclusion, was that behind all the lightning bolts, catapults, armor, and poisonus death spells there are people, wanting community, wanting to be loved, wanting to be accepted. i want all that stuff too. sometimes i get glimpses of it, but for every glimpse i get, i get an equal and opposite glimpse of heartache, betrayal, and lonliness. guess that newton guy was on to something. i dont mean to sound melodramatic... i hate those blogs... but ive just felt a bit beaten up here lately and i guess for one reason or another i haven't had much time to recover. even the fine warriors of DARKON needed time to mend their shields. maybe thats what i need these days... or maybe fewer shields and fewer battles.