Wow talk about a big lunch break for me. I was on my way to meet with a guy that is helping me think though the way I'm wired up and how that applies to my calling, you know what type of job would suit my personality type and whatnot. Im an INFP by the way. Anywho I was out on 280 driving to meet the guy...by the way when the lost people of Birmingham end up in hell, there's a good chance they will be able to find their way around because Im sure its a lot like 280....back to the story, I was on my way to meet the guy and I saw a car that looked all to familiar trying to merge in front of me. It wasn't going quite fast enough for me to slow down and let it over so I passed it and it got behind me. About midway through my pass I recognized the car, the driver, and the all too familiar postition of the drivers hand holding a cell phone while driving. It was the last girl I dated. The very one that everyone thought I would end up marrying. The same one that I tend to wonder wether or not I missed my chance with. Well I saw her and my heart dropped. It dropped straight to my crotch, but not in a longing kind of sexual attraction heart in my crotch kind of feeling. It was more like my heart became a bowling ball and it was dropped on my crotch and I wanted to throw up because of it. Well I think she noticed me too, because I saw her arm go out her window and straight up in the air...I couldn't tell if it had an extended middle finger or not, but I sure saw it out the window of that familiar old Accord hatch back. I really dont think it did. In the confusion of the situation I actually missed the restraunt that I was going to and had to go ask directions to the place. One of the places I stopped to ask directions from was a Starbucks. Wouldn't you know it she was there too. I'm not sure if she saw me or not, or if she thought I was following her. I really wasn't. Oh well, strange, but I made it through it. She really is an amazing girl and honestly I'd be all too lucky if she was still in my life, but I was a jerk and couldn't handle her. Ive learned a lot since that time and God has had His hands full changing my heart. Now the same situations that caused me to break her heart really don't bother me all that much. It's not like I want to reconcile a relationship with her and go get married like everyone expected. Im actually not even interested in her. I think the reason my heart dropped and my stoamach hurt was first off, the simple shock of the situation, and second the harsh reminder that I have the capability of hurting someone as bad as I did her. Hopefully she is a better person than I am and she is able to forgive me.
Well I went to the place and talked to the guy about future and calling and all that stuff. It was one of the best conversations that Ive had in recent months with anyone. Im supposed to work through some more stuff and get back with him. Well during all of this time I noticed that there is a new Pope. I work with a catholic guy and I remember a conversation with him where he said that the Pope was the voice of God. I couldn't disagree more with him. I don't think the Pope has anymore authority than anyone else on what God has to say to us. God's Word...the Bible...and the Holy Spirit are the way He speaks today. He uses His body the church to encourage and instruct. And sometimes He uses big ol' men that like red meat...like the guy I met with today, and other times he uses old girlfriends in their familiar Honda's along with bowling ball hearts hitting you in the crotch to remind you of where you've come from. But to the catholics I suppose God aquired a new voice today, for me I got a kick in the nuts as a reminder of where Ive been and some great advice from just about the biggest man I know about where I could end up. All in all an eventful lunch.
1 comment:
jason, truly amazing.
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