whats been happnin...

lotsa work is whats been happnin. thats why I haven't written in forever. i used to write in my down time at work, subsequently when there's no down time there's no writing. but... due to the fact that my office has now moved, and the internet service that we had at our old office, which is completely paid for by my boss, would not transfer from our old location to the new one, but would however transfer to my apartment, I can blog from the comfort of my own home, and all for free... at least free to me. other than work being crazy, the rest of my life feels crazy too. i think for the most part i bring it on myself. i sometimes wonder if i'll ever have the thought processes of a normal 25 year old human. i tend to stress myself out about everything, be over analytical, and not too much fun to be around... well i am those things at least in situations/contexts that i feel are serious or where a lot is at stake or that are just really important to me. that kind of sucks because then the things that are the most important or the closest to me cause me the most distress and i have the hardest time enjoying the things / people that i want to enjoy the most. as far as i can remember i've always been that way. recently though, i'm starting to see this as a fault, and wondering how to deal with it. maybe dr. phill has a website that i can check, again from the comfort of my own home, and without the judgmental glances of coworkers.